Tuesday, August 3, 2010 at 1:55pm
With God as his protector, this tall, dark, Marines stayed for several years in the “area” fighting battles. Ruthless to the enemies, he was the “Braveheart” of my life. God, country before his own personal whims, for me he was a true selfless patriot. He remained loyal to everything he stood for before we got married, an unsung hero of some sort of the country, AFP, and Marine Corps. Who else can be prouder than the woman behind this man?
But at some point I stopped being mesmerized by his selflessness. It felt like he was too much of a hero for others for even when he was no longer in the “field” he was still always at work. Always thinking, planning, and doing something for the office he was being assigned to. Everywhere he goes he was always into improving things that needs improvement, believing in his heart that consolations follows ones love for his work. Although my heart bleeds for him knowing that he was under appreciated and devaluated at times, I torture him by subtly letting him feel that he was neglecting me and the children, that he was effortless in keeping his family happy and that he loves me less. He was a hero no more in my perception; but he just continued doing what he was doing despite my waning support.
Ten years of marriage is not an assurance that you know your better half that well! I judged him wrongly when I thought of him as someone who does not care for me. When I was diagnosed to have an AML, he showed me that he will be there for me too when I needed him most. There was never a time that he was not at my side. Without hesitation he gladly accepted the RHAC he was placed into, despite knowing the fact that it is something that would surely hurt his military career. He does not mind not being able to follow the military pattern he wanted so much until he sees me well and out of danger. I am now sure that heroism is something innate in him, helping those in need, be it a family member or anybody else. I now clearly see that selfless act of disregarding his own need to be with his bride during the battle in Mindanao was genuine!
He is not perfect! He snores loud he disturbs my sleep. His mouth stays open in our long talks and he looks at me as if I talk in Chinese. He hates reading and deliberately misinterprets things to get away with reading. He is not funny. He has all the imperfections I thought I could NOT live with. But all these imperfections are compensated by HIS FEAR AND LOVE FOR THE LORD!
No one may ever know how loyal he is to this country, he may never get the chance to realize the goals and good visions he has for the present organization where he belongs, but as his partner in life I would always thank the Lord he was born so that I can have and possess the greatest gift I can have in this lifetime! As I rejoice in my first victory over my cancer I have to thank him for being obedient to the Sovereign Lord command on the day we got married . . . For richer and for poorer, in SICKNESS and in health, till death do us part. Finally I thank GOD that I come only second in my husbands heart, as Jesus Christ is the first! He may commit mistakes along the way, but I am assured he will return to the right path as his loyalty is to HIM!
It is very nice to read your journey.The fight the war with oneself to ride the strongest tide.The mental strength is all I want to borrow to inspire myself. Atlanta Plastic Surgeons
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